Mother's Day
(after Cori)
One frame every seconds


I was very very tired I felt totally emotionally exhausted and I dreaded the day coming on because it was the first mother's day after Cori passed away. And I called my mother and told her there was no way that I could come, that there was no way to bring Jake on the train and I didn't have a car and she said but I bought a salmon steak, I went to the fish store and bought salmon steaks for dinner they were very expensive what am I going to do with yours? And I said I don't know, freeze it. But it doesn't taste good after it's frozen. And I said I can't come out. I said goodbye, and then the next thing I get a call and she said in a rather high pitched loud voice: I've done a little curatorial work, I've done you a favor. I've put all your work in the driveway and I'm burning it. I've saved some, that were worth saving. And if you want any of it, you can come out now. And I said I'm too tired. And I was. Anything that wouldn't burn because it was framed she put out by the garbage cans with a sign that said "Free. Take." Many years later Pearl told me that she drove by one day and saw these things out by the garbage cans and didn't know they were mine. She told me she didn't know that it was my work. But I don't think that was it. I think she was afraid of my mother. She felt helpless against rescuing it, but she put it in those terms, that she came driving by one day and saw it, but didn't know that it was mine. Along with your father's plan for the country club. Two days after my father died she had a truck come and haul away all the work my father had been saving for my retrospective. She had them come and haul it away. Two days after he died. The night my father died she told me she heard a thud in the kitchen but she was too tired to get up. She came out in the morning and found him on the floor, he'd had a heart attack, sitting there drinking a cup of coffee. A friend had called him and asked him to drive him to a meeting of the Jewish Veterans of Foreign Wars, in a nearby town, and it was raining, and he wasn't supposed to drive except down to the corner and back, but he went anyway to do the man a favor, and maybe he wasn't feeling so good when he got back, maybe feeling warning signs in his heart, and sat down to have a cup of coffee. It was his fifth heart attack.



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